And Suddenly I'm OK That It's Just Another Day...

I've been thinking about writing a lot over the last few weeks.  But that's where it's ended.  Either there's a diaper to change.  A baby to feed.  A meal to fix.  A baby to feed.  Laundry to switch.  A baby to feed.  You get the drill.  Just pulling out the computer to start writing seemed like a futile effort.  But today is the day.  

I'm sitting on my bedroom floor next to my beautiful mini-me surrounded by half completed thank you notes, insurance paperwork, my calendar, and handouts for a teaching program I'm starting next week.  Note: yes I am that crazy to start a year-long certificate program in the midst of my maternity leave.  

On one hand I think I'm crazy to embark on anything that will take time away from loving on my baby girl.  On the other I wonder if it might keep me slightly sane.  But one thing I do know.  Today I woke up to yet another birthday.  Can I be honest?  More than one year as a grown adult I have been sad at the end of the day that another birthday was over.  It's the same feeling I had as a 5 year old after all the Christmas presents were opened.  That's it?  I have to wait another WHOLE YEAR?  But back to birthday's - we all know they aren't the same as we get older, but my child inside still secretly wished for days full of parties, cake, and playdates.  I mean I love being loved on, even now.  We might celebrate differently without all the parties and presents and streamers than when I was a kid (read as: celebrate by putting in a 8-hour worlday).  But yet there's still something special about it all.  

And yet, this year my perspective has done a 180 by no will of my own.  Don't get me wrong - I love the cards I've received and the dinner I'll have out with my main squeeze.  But (can I just be super real here?) I hardly know the day of the week while I've been home with baby girl, much less had two minutes to think about what I wanted or where to go for dinner.  Ask my sister - she asked those questions so many times the last few weeks & always got the same answer.  "I haven't even thought about it."  So needless to say it has snuck up on me.  And yesterday at the pediatrician's office I noticed the calendar and was like "oh- tomorrow's my birthday....I should try to take a shower.  That would be nice."  And with that one thought I have moved into the camp of birthday's are just "another day".  All thanks to becoming a mom.  The best gift I've ever been given.  Has it been easy?  No way.  Have I loved every moment? Nope.  Would I trade it for anything.  Absolutely not.  In the deepest part of my soul, I'm ok with my transition to this strange new thought on birthdays.    My family loves me and I know they'll acknowledge the day.  And frankly that's enough for me.  So here's to year 31.  I can't wait for the memories you will bring me and my new family of three.  This new journey for is the best gift I could ask for anyways and I wouldn't have it any other way.