The End of a Wardrobe Era

This post shall also be known as "The day I remembered what it was like to not have an elastic waistband".   We have a vacation coming up and I realized that I don't want to constantly be pulling up my overstretched maternity jeans through the Florida heat.  And you can forget the one pair of shorts in the closet, complete with a full maternity panel.  Umm, no.  Way too many layers for the sunshine state in summertime.  

And so the realization that I would have to force myself to try on my pre-baby jeans was upon me.  And I was scared.  Not so much that they wouldn't fit.  Because please - I've been on the scale.  And numbers don't lie folks.  Needless to say in about 1.4 seconds it hit me that my ability to sit in them just wasn't going to happen.  And I could forget breathing.  Who doesn't want to relax on vacation feeling like their bottom half was melted & poured into a sweet pair of GAP skinny jeans with a zip tie tightened around the waist tight enough to make you feel like you were being cut you in half.  Vegas magic trick style.

So off to Old Navy I went.  Here's where the fun began.  Common sense said I'd need to go up a size from pre-pregancy right?  I mean my originals didn't fit.  Totally not rocket science.  So I rushed around the store gathering a size up (of course I'm doing this between feedings so I've got a cool hour to find a temporary new wardrobe).  The poor people who heard me in the dressing room laughing to myself probably thought they had walked into the looney bin.  Really Old Navy?  I was caught between a hormonal laugh of thankfulness and a guttural laugh of how ridiculous can they be?  In one year they had shifted their sizes enough that my original go to size was EXACTLY what I needed post baby.  Did my insides (that have always hated the stigma of sizes and guilt that I want a milkshake more than a treadmill) rejoice?  Oh yes.  But seriously?  If they keep this up I'll really be wearing a size 40 in a few years inching up a year at a time, yet still be wearing pants with the same tag.  Pant inflation.  It's a real thing people.  

The labels don't really matter.  I am under no illusion that my body will ever be what it was.  It was all part of the package deal.  It was a successful trip that let me find actual clothes to wear over the next few months, to which the world will be eternally grateful.  But for reals - I wish elastic would come back in fashion, cause I might just miss that most about being pregnant.   Who's with me?!?!?